Wednesday 31 July 2019

May 2019 be a new beginning for me - 10

Can't believe I haven't been writing for so long. A lot has happened in the past 5 months and I thought I want to stop letting these negative emotions drown me especially when one of my colleague shared the photo I took with her to her Sifu and the Sifu first response is to ask her stop mingling or stay around with whose vibe is negative. I honestly didn't like it when a person who doesn't know me can even feel my negativity through a photo sent via WeChat. Let me share what had happened in the past 5 months :

March
Obviously still very much affected with what had happened. We were somehow still in contact and I wished him good luck for his business trip to US. On White Valentine's Day, he sent me message wished me Happy White Valentine's and the most unexpected thing was that he got me a Tag Heuer watch when he's back from US and stating there's no one to give to if I reject him. I know he's doing so to make himself feel better and of course there's someone he can give it to if he wants.


April
Just a week or two post receiving the watch from him and I saw them at airport. I kinda guess she meet him at HK for his business trip. He denied it saying she was there with her dad and they only met up for meals and some shopping. Coincidentally knowing she is there and he suggested her to change her return flight so they can fly home together. They didn't came out from the gate together but was separately as though they don't wish to be seen together. He was pushing trolley alone with 2 big luggages and a bag with Lego boxes. He was of course furious when I walked to him shortly after she walked out from the gate and meet him. He can't even control his temper and raised his voice
to me and insisted to send her home. I left with disappointment. How can he still deny that he didn't have anything with her when he brought her to Disneyland, brought her pandora, many of the fashion
street brands wear - B.APE, Tommy Hilfiger, etc which he wasn't a fans. Out of my expectation, he was that furious and drove to my home post sending her home. Of course he did try to explain and said how he has no topic to chat with her aside work related matters, how he dislikes her keep playing phone while eating etc. I listened with a pinch of salt as I guess I know him too well. His feelings are definitely growing for her.


May
He wished me luck for my senior leader market visit and sent me a captain photo taken at the airport.I wished him the same as he has a senior leader visit too. I choose to take my things left at his place and confronted him on the matter he cheated on me. I got to know this during my Koh Lipe trip and I was seriously sad. Why a man whom I loved so much treated me like this? We were headed to different place for a cool off period in November last year after I found out he brought her a Swarovski bear, Kampachi fine dining dinner with a bouquet of flowers because she said she hardly received flowers from her ex boyfriends, and they met up at office staircase which I bumped into and his explanation was he was there to tell her in order for me and him to work out, he needs to cease contact with her. Then he headed of to SG and I looked up my bff at Sarawak. Time will reveal truth, I found out that he bought flight ticket for her to join him at Singapore and stayed Four Seasons hotel when he told me hotel will cost him a bomb and he will stays with a friend whom we both know. He did stayed there but not on the last night as he checked in the hotel with her. He lied and said he wasn't with her and even tried to prove to me that she being on leave was just a coincidence.

June
Emotions still hit me on and off. He sent his dog photo to me and thank me for the snacks as it was the dog's birthday on 11 June. Subsequently I also found out that he brought the dog out for birthday
celebration at a dog cafe with her and her friends. Also, it's a pattern of him to bring the partner for Japanese Omakase meal which I believe he brought her to Hinata and Nobu, spa massage session and dining at different hotels, brought back hotel bears from his business trip for her. He still denied it and telling me that he was trying desperately to move on and don't have any intention to start any relationship until he gets his works done. He also had something removed from him which makes him realise that he just wants to live his life happily as life is fragile.


July
This month is her birthday and I know he celebrated her birthday and made her a handmade present. Something he has never done for me despite 4 years relationship. Maybe I'm not as well to do as her hence he always buy gifts to me vs trying to impress her with his time commitment and how caring and loving he can be for her.

I know I may sound like I'm still at the first stage of grieving but I'm not. Yes I still feel the pain as I don't know how can a person just changed overnight and move on so quickly (I suspected them in October) especially when we were just return from pre wedding photo shoot in early October and we were planning to step into next phase of our lives together. A friend of mine told me that there are these kind of people when they just fall out of love easily. I don't believe in God but I do hope that God can continue to shower me strength to move on happily.

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