May 2019 be a new beginning for me - day 6

I feel relatively low & weak the past few days especially on weekend. I missed her after seeing her on Wednesday so I decided to visit Belle on Saturday knowing that he may pick her up on either day over the weekend. I didn't manage to spent time with her as she was having her medicated spa. She does looks old & skinny after wet, reminded me much of my late granny. Pet shop staff told me that he called and asked them to have her ready ASAP as his schedule is a bit tight on Saturday. I left the shop feeling sad as I felt like I'm a stranger to Belle and him. Cant help to fight the sad feeling hence I cried again on my way to facial. I do not know how long this process will take. I just hope I can be better soon. I'm feeling very weak but I need to stay strong to go through this as I have no one to rely on. I'm tired.... 

Crying as I'm typing.. not a good sign...