MCO Day 23

2020 didn't started well with Belle passed on & the mother earth is now sick. Globally, we're hit by a pandemic virus - Covid19. Malaysia has enter 23rd day of Movement Control Order (MCO) with the objective to manage the outbreak & minimise infection by practising social distance. This is the longest of time I've not stepped out from home and the furthest I went is stand in the car porch to absorb some vitamin D in the morning. I wonder when is this going to end? What & when is the next disease/virus going to hit us if human race able to overcome this pandemic? I honestly feel mother earth is asking for a break from human race as we over utilised Her. I believe many would feel or take this differently. Some complain daily about how bored their life are, some treasure people around them more, some worried on what's next once this over, etc. For me, except from changing working environment and no hang out with friends, life is still pretty much the same. Maybe my parents get to see me more but I still spend more time in the room than living hall. Something I'm still learning - spend more time with them by talking to them. 

Sometimes I don't know if the money I make worth the time spent or in exchange of other things, for e.g. amount of stress I need to face. I just received verbal confirmation of my probation on Tuesday yet I'm still not sure if this is the work I like doing even though my HOD recognised my effort and results. Today, I feel I fail myself & my leader again as another hiccups occur. I went extra mile for the client so they can better manage their employee but it didn't turn out well & I'm stuck in between client and operation team. I hate under deliver & a slap to my face for what I've advised earlier as I need to tell the client it is now a miscommunication? At time like this, I do feel like just doing a simple routine job than having to go through the stress. Not to mentioned, my 2 sisters said my grey hair is surfacing more. I hope & pray that this will not turn out to be an escalation. Note to self : only be kind to selected people, not everyone deserves your kindness especially those who take advantages of you. I guess this is the only way to protect myself as sooner or later, I'll be the only sole bread winner for the family once the sisters are married. Can't afford to lose job. And yes, I don't think I can find a new one anytime soon. Not that I don't need or don't want one, I'm just tired to start all over. Ok enough of whining that makes me sounds like a loser. Pray for a good outcome on this escalation case tomorrow. 
May the world be a better place for you & me. 

PS : How are you Belle? I wonder what's like to own you from the start when you were a baby? I'm sure you can be my listener in moment like this when no one will. I Miss You.